Family Woes

[teyla]

Actually, I wanted to make a post about how much I love my favorite show at the moment. I might still do that later on. Right now, my family swept in and killed the mood with ever-present skill.


I love my family. I really do. They're great people, and I get along with them most of the time.

They won't just let me do my thing, though.

I know that I'm not exactly a person with a completely normal lifestyle. I usually sleep during the day, not in the night. I like it better that way. I'm not a very sociable person, meaning I don't seek out the company of others all that much. My life is kinda chaotic. I like it that way, though. My family doesn't. Am I trying to force them to live like I do? No. They're obviously trying to launch another attempt at making me live like they do, though. My parents summoned me for a "conversation" this week-end. I know exactly how this is gonna go: we're all going to sit in the living room, my mom will have made coffee in order to make us all feel like we're just having a casual conversation like any family might on a Saturday afternoon, and then they're going to tell me that I need to change my lifestyle. I will nod and say yes until they finally decide to shut up, and then I will not stay there for the night but drive home because I'm quietly seething with anger, and I will resent them for a couple of weeks, and then everything will start anew.

Why the fuck can't they just leave me alone? I liked it a lot better when I was living 400km away and they didn't see or hear anything that was going on in my life aside from what I decided to let them know. And people wonder why I want to emigrate.

Comments

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

First: I hugh you.
Second: I send Wilson to Hugh you the whole day/night/day *sigh*
And I know, it dosen´t comforts you but parents are all the same if they love their children. Yeah, your Mom loves you but I think she can´t get it, that you grow up now and you are able to decide what you want and what you need and if that´s not what you relly need you have to take that experience but your Mom can´t let you do that because she cares about you like you would be her little t_eyla. And believe me you are always beeing little t_eyla in her mind. My Mom tryed that also and really it needs very, very, strong and hard words to show her that she couldn´t change me. And sometimes she needs the hard way again. Really she is my Mom and I love her but she thinks always that she could do all the things better than I and either I say nothing or I say things like: "so, good you are not me" or "I don´t think that you are ever been there or done that! Why do you think you could it better handle?" Sometimes it´s only a: "Good for you" or "If you want to have this opinion, I don´t care about it" And than I´m going. See, it dosen´t ends not matter how old you are. And funny is the other side. If you let somebody think and do what they want just these person say to you: "I´m not important for you. If I would be important for you, ore you would take care about me you don´t would let me do that!" or "helped me with that" ore something like this. That´s weird and it´s the reason that I always say: "Humans are weird and I think they are getting more weird wich every year I get older. I also like it to be alone and I liked it earlier as such as now. But like Mr. Jagger said before: You can´t always get what you want! I try to take my time for me and my things. It´s not always possible but sometimes I´m succesful. Don´t give up. Maybe you could go after an hour to stay with your family or you can say them you haven´t time at this weekend and you will be there at another weekend or whenever you have the time or the wish to talk with them.
Hugh you again.

[teyla]

I send Wilson to Hugh you the whole day/night/day

Oh, bliss. I should be emo on my journal more often. ^^

Thank you for your kind words. It's kinda depressing to know that this won't change, but it's also good to know that I'm not the only sane person who thinks that people should just be able to decide what they want to do for themselves.

If you let somebody think and do what they want just these person say to you: "I´m not important for you. If I would be important for you, ore you would take care about me you don´t would let me do that!" or "helped me with that" ore something like this

I don't get that logic, either. I mean, state an opinion about what somebody else is doing is one thing. Giving people advise if they ask for it. But intervening when somebody is living their lives and seeming happy about how they go about it? Just because I think things should be done differently? Um... not what I'd call caring. Being annoying and terribly nosy and bossy is more like it.

I care about my friends. But I also believe in the freedom of personal choice. More than I do in changing people. Actually, I don't think you can change people. People can change, but only if they want and see the need to themselves.

*hugs back* Thanks again for commenting :). It did make me feel better.

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

Yep you are right. You can´t change people. Every peopole have to do their own experience. I really know, my comment dosen´t comfort you but it´s the true and maybe you could bet your mother, that she let you do your own experiences. It´s only your life and only you can live it. You grown up and you do your things. She has done the same as she was in your age. Not her mother lived her life. Maybe you have to say that. Maybe she must hearing the words. Who knows? Be kindly (if you can) while you talk to her. It´s often the best way that she can get the message.
But really it´s weird and it´s no logic in the part that you don´t give unwished advises to anybody and the person reproachs you that you don´t said what you thought. I can´t understand that and I´m saying what I´m thinking, if you ask me. Sometimes I give them a thought if I think that´s neccessary but I don´t want to change everyone and I don´t want to take choises for another persons. I help if they want that. But sometimes it dosen´t matter, what I do it´s in each way wrong. But I don´t understand people (you know, *smile* I have only one brain cell) because I´m not able to live up to the expectations or to fulfill the expectations from some persons. *sigh*
I think you are a wonderful person and I hope you do what you want to do and that will be good for you.

[teyla]

Thank you :). It's always been my belief that people need to know what's best for them, no matter what that is. Pity my mom won't agree. I'll just try to explain it again ^^.

*hugs*