PROMPT ME~~~

[teyla]

I was rereading some of my old pornfic yesterday, and man, that was depressing. I used to be able to off-the-cuff 1,000 or more words of PWP easily. Now, I struggle with every sentence, no matter if what I'm writing is porn or something else. I haven't posted fic in almost a year, either.

So. Whoever comments first is getting commentporn. Any pairing, any fandom--het, slash, or femmeslash. Give me a pairing and a prompt, and I shall try and see if I can force my PWP muse to actually do its job for once.

Come on, guys. This is your chance to make me write Ten/Rose. Or House/Cameron. Or Gwen/Arthur. Don't miss out! *insert commercial jingle*

comment on LJ

Comments

[mind-the-tardis.livejournal.com]

. . . My kinks, they are not cliche at all. Sex in a bunch of old books would be SO DAMNED DUSTY.

[mind-the-tardis.livejournal.com]

Picking paper bits out of your hair for weeks. I worked in a Special Collections section, I should know. Well. Not about the sex part, sadly.

Part 1

[teyla]

There are very few books in this ficlet. But there is porn. I'm not sure if this is horrible or hilarious. It might be both.

-----------------------------------------------------

Some days, Xander Harris wonders if the universe does actually have a sentient personality, and, further, if in one of his previous lives, he did something to make that personality absolutely hate his guts. He figures he must have. There is no other explanation for all the ridiculous, humiliating, embarrassing and plain bizarre situations he has ended up in during the course of his life.

Right now, he is kneeling under the counter in the school library, uncomfortably bending his back in order to fit into the tight space, and hardly able to breathe. The latter is due to Spike's cock, which is shoved half-way down his throat.

It had all started simple enough. Spike and he had been researching their current case, something about a disappearing phone box, when Spike had given him That Look. Xander knows That Look and its meaning well enough, and not two minutes later, he had been on his knees under the counter, sucking vampire cock. Business as usual.

Until Giles had shown up. Xander had felt a hand settle on the top of his head, and had heard a hissed "Don't move!", and then there had been the sound of a stack of books being dropped on the counter, and Giles' voice, inquiring about the progress of their research.

Xander isn't sure if his sense of time is to be relied on right now, but it feels like he's been kneeling here, motionless and drooling all over himself, for roughly five hours. Spike isn't any less hard than he was when they started out. Maybe it's Giles' voice that does it for him. The librarian has been talking since the moment he walked in.

"The interesting thing about this case," Giles is lecturing, "is that there are reports of this phone box all throughout history. You have to know what you're looking for, but if you care to look at these cross-references--"

Xander tunes him out and tries to swallow without making too much of a slurping sound. His success is quite mediocre, but his attempts have an unexpected side effect. As he swallows, his tongue presses upwards against Spike's cock, and the vampire twitches.

There's a brief pause in Giles' droning. "Are you all right, Spike?"

"Yeah. Sure. Fine. Why wouldn't I be?"

Xander hears the tension in Spike's voice, and if his mouth weren't occupied, he'd be pulling it into a slow smile. If there's anything that life has taught him so far, it's that every situation, no matter how screwed up, offers opportunities if you only care to look for them.

He shifts a little, trying to angle his head in a more convenient way, and begins to work his throat--sucking, swallowing, pressing his tongue up against Spike's cock as best as he can without making any sound. The hand that's resting on his head tightens its grip, pulling his hair and attempting to push him back, but Xander resists. Oh no, Mr. Vampire. You wanted to get sucked off, now you're getting sucked off.

". . . a reference in this old Aramaic text, which mentions the box as well as a 'man in colourful garment', which is evocative of the biblical tale of Joseph, son of Jacob, who--are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes!" Just as Spike starts to speak, Xander flicks his tongue, and Spike's answer comes out a lot more high-pitched than usual. "Yes, I'm fine. Do carry on."

"Very well. As I said, it is evocative of the story of Joseph, son of Jacob, who was, as the scripture states, the owner of a coat of many--"

Xander tips his head forward and tightens his throat muscles, eliciting an audible gasp from Spike. Giles breaks off again.

"Really, Spike, if there's something wrong--"

"Nothing is wrong, Gi-- Giles." Spike sounds like he's speaking through gritted teeth, and the hand in Xander's hair tightens again. "Continue."

Part 2

[teyla]

Xander can taste the familiar tang of precome and doubles his efforts. He's rock-hard himself; even the monotonous drowning of Giles' voice isn't enough to dampen his arousal. He reaches down to awkwardly grope at his crotch, the limitations of the tight space he's in doing nothing to diminish his enthusiasm. The voices above him fade out to a low background hum as he focuses on teasing and sucking and groping and pushing Spike over the edge.

Finally, he succeeds. Spike's fingers in his hair tighten, his posture goes rigid, and a moment later, Xander is busy swallowing as best as he can, trying not to let too much go amiss. It really wouldn't do to make a mess here underneath the library counter.

Then Spike is done, his cock in Xander's mouth starts to soften, and Xander's senses begin to pick up signals from his immediate surroundings again. Or they would, if there were any. The library is dead silent.

Xander stays where he is, not moving a muscle, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible. Eventually, there's Giles' voice again, sounding oddly put out. "Spike, where's Xander?"

Spike shifts, his legs moving back and away, which makes his cock finally slip out of Xander's mouth. Xander figures Spike must be leaning on the counter.

"D'you really want me to answer that question, Giles?"

Brief silence.

"No." Now Giles sounds more than just put out. "No, I don't think I want you to answer that question, Spike. I-- I have to go. I'll be-- I'll see you later. Research. To attend to. Yes."

Xander can hear footsteps, moving away, and he doesn't need to look up to know that Spike is smiling a broad smile that shows far too many of his teeth. He closes his eyes. He's not wondering anymore if the universe hates him; it's painfully obvious that it does. What he's wondering now is how he could ever have doubted that he fully deserves it.

Re: Part 2

[mind-the-tardis.livejournal.com]

PFFFFFFFFT.

Xander. Also, Giles. The Giles!voice amuses the hell out of me. "Intellectualpointintellectualpointintellectual--good heavens, is there sex going on in my library? . . . Right, I'll be going then."

I wouldn't say this is hot, but it *is* goofy as hell XD

. . . Really, I want to know what *Giles* does after he leaves the library.

[teyla]

Nooo, this is really more slapstick porn than hot porn. And I put Giles in there just for you. That, and because otherwise, it would have had to be Buffy, and the idea of having to write her super-annoying voice kind of made my hair stand on end. ;)

Giles probably went and gave Buffy a good spanking. For dragging that vampire into his library. Dammit.

[mind-the-tardis.livejournal.com]

. . . Spanking a Slayer sounds hazardous.

And, hoorah, Giles \o/ *hearts book-geeks*

[teyla]

I think Giles can take Buffy. She may be stronger than he is, but he definitely owns her in the brain department. >_>

[dntfretprecious.livejournal.com]

. . . Intellectual spanking?

[mind-the-tardis.livejournal.com]

PFFT, wrong journal. Master, shoo.

[teyla]

It must've been the talk of spanking. Spanking is to the Master what cheese is to mice?

[some-go-mad.livejournal.com]

Apparently, mice aren't *really* all that crazy about cheese.

And the Master says spanking is far too mild. Spanking. . . . Though now I'm seeing him telling some children that their parents have been very naughty and then spanking the parents. To death >_>

[teyla]

The Doctor says he'll spank you in a minute, Master.

[some-go-mad.livejournal.com]

Even the Master is slightly freaked out by that icon, Doctor.

[teyla]

[dntfretprecious.livejournal.com]

*canon!Master leaves a human!Master offering for Santa!Ten, and scarpers off while S!Ten is, hopefully, distracted*

[teyla]

[dntfretprecious.livejournal.com]

[teyla]

Re: Part 2

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

*ROFLLLLLLLLL****

THAT WAS MINDBLOWING *LOL*

I think you should write more such things and you will have to read your stuff in front of thousands.

Such a big laughter will cause vulcan eruptions or something else.

I love that you made me laughing after this whole crappy day! Thanks!!!

Re: Part 2

[teyla]

Aw. Thanks. I'm really happy to hear you enjoyed it so much. If it made you laugh, I must've done something right.

You're more than welcome! Thanks for reading.

Re: Part 2

[chaoskir.livejournal.com]

You should both parts together posting at bloodclaim as a Spanderfic. I bet you will make much more people laughing. And when the best thing feet can do is dancing then it's the best thing vocal cords can do is laughing. Plus: it's healthy.

[teyla]

I'm planning to link these ficlets at comms as soon as I've written beandelphiki's Ten/Donna request. Thanks for the tip, though! :) I wouldn't have known what the local Spike/Xander comm was.

Re: Part 2

[geek-girl33.livejournal.com]

That was hilarious! Not a bit of horrible to be found. Thanks for posting this.

[teyla]

Thanks for commenting! Glad you enjoyed it. :)