I loved this essay and I think you're right about the absolute need to 'self-insert' and to be honest. It's a thin line to walk and you (not 'you', T'eyla, but 'you' in general, is what I mean) will fall off every now and then, making the story all about yourself instead of about the character you are trying to write about, but yeah, it's the only way the story will sound authentic.